Scott Styris is a World Cup colossus

Yes, Scott Styris is a World Cup version of a 30 metre high statue of Helios, the Greek god of the sun, built over 2,000 years ago.

Maybe we're wrong. After all, Helios was supposed to be 'a bit of a looker' and with all due respect to Scott Styris, he's more troll-like than divinely handsome. Plus, a god - any god - would think twice before getting a haircut like Scott Styris's.

'The fin' and 'the mullet' are the two worst haircuts of all time. Why has Scott Styris attempted to combine them in unholy union? A friend of ours has a theory that Scott's a country boy for whom the mullet is a default hair setting. From this starting point, he has attempted to modernise, taking only the most striking aspects of 'the fin' yet ignoring the unsung low-key elements.

After taking 1-35 and hitting 80 not out to win New Zealand their Super 8 match against the West Indies yesterday, Scott Styris now averages 129 with the bat and 20.25 with the ball during this World Cup.

We still haven't found a good photo of Scott Styris's hair, but we have found this one of him giving thanks for Helios's life-giving rays.

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Friday, March 30, 2007

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