Matthew Hayden flukes a couple of runs

Start new post. Write 'Matthew Hayden' in title box and leave rest until later. Sigh audibly.

Do image search for 'Matthew Hayden'. Wince at row upon row of pictures of his stupid, fat face. Select an ambiguous one where Hayden supporters will think he's hitting a six, but more sentient readers will think he's taken one in the head.

Open Australia v West Indies scorecard. Visibly recoil at the horror.

Find Hayden's record over the last few matches. Have to turn head on one side and close one eye to conceal fastest-ever World Cup hundred which DIDN'T HAPPEN. No, it didn't. No, it didn't. No, it didn't. No, it didn't.

Return to title and add embittered ending. Smile outwardly at the unbelievable punishment being dished out to the man. Cry inwardly.

Cry outwardly.