Matthew Hayden's World Cup hundreds are all part of the script

This World Cup better obey the rules of drama. The bad guy will be built up and built up and then ultimately humiliated in the glorious final act.

Matthew Hayden has only gone and scored ANOTHER bloody hundred (admittedly, it was days ago - we weren't desperate to update about it). How? He's about 58 years old now and he's so burly and unathletic he can barely walk.

Just watch him tottering along trying to take the singles. We're not sure whether it's the oversized chest or the ridiculous fat head, but he looks massively top-heavy - like at any moment he might come crashing to ground, like a beaten T-Rex, a bestial roar of anguish bellowing from his whale-sized lungs.

It's about time one of the teams let a fast bowler at him. He escaped Shane Bond on Friday and didn't have to face Lasith Malinga before that (or Chaminda Vaas OR Muttiah Muralitharan).

Dramatic rules dictate that Hayden and Australia should be at their most arrogant by the final, at which point they'll be soundly beaten.