Look! It's still twitching

There's something weirdly macabre about doing a post-mortem on a beast that's still technically alive. That's what's happening with the England team.

Australia won the Ashes after the last Test and now we all get to pick at England's faults as they show them off in a series they've already lost. There isn't even any belief that they'll restore pride with a consolation win. Everyone knows what's happening, but we're still watching. It's grotesque cruelty on a grand scale.

Today's fresh autopsy evidence probably revolves around England's consistently bad batting on surfaces which have been, for the most part, pretty darn decent. Something like that anyway.

Maybe we'll just start lying and reporting England wins. Everyone's doing 'the facts' on the rest of the internet. 'The facts' are passé.

There really is no doubt about it. This Ashes is making us angry rather than amazed.

England 159 all out and 161 all out
Australia 419 all out