Arrogant Kevin Pietersen

Look at him: Jumping around, celebrating his double hundred; playing all those show-off shots; talking himself up. It's almost like he wants to be the best batsman in the world.

What's more, he doesn't seem to care that anyone and everyone can see his ambition. How frightfully, frightfully vulgar.

That's what some people seem to think about Kevin Pietersen. We're more of the opinion: 226 at close to a run-a-ball? Keep doing that and we'll do anything to keep you happy. You want a daily delivery of biltong? Done.

England v West Indies, second Test, day 2 at Headingley
England 570-7 declared (Michael Vaughan 103, Kevin Pietersen 226, Matt Prior 75)
West Indies 146-9 (Ryan Sidebottom 4-42, Liam Plunkett 3-35)
West Indies 22-2 following on