Australia v Scotland

Have we just found ourself in the hitherto unexperienced position of supporting Scotland at something?

Hopefully no-one'll notice if they include Yasir Arafat - he plays for Scotland in the Sunday league when they're a domestic 'county' rather than a country. Try suggesting Scotland's merely a county to any Scots person - go on, try it.

Anyway, there's plenty to aim for for Scotland. They can start by embarrassing at least one Australian player, then take it to two, then three. Even if they can't manage the ultimate humiliation of an upset victory, they can at least damage a few egos.

We don't know why we're so spiteful this morning.