Reasons to be cheerful about the Ashes

Yes, there are some. First and foremost: It's all coming together perfectly.

You don't believe us? These first two Tests have just been setting the scene. Don't you know anything about crafting drama? England have experienced both kinds of defeat: The remorseless, same-old, same-old, utterly outplayed, grind-you-into-the-dirt brand; and the sudden and outrageous defeat which hurts even more.

This just means that England's inevitable victory and retention of the Ashes will be all the sweeter. If England had got off to a flier, your appreciation wouldn't have been sufficient. This way, they lower your expectations and when they finally do get round to winning, you're awestruck. It's all relative.

Secondly, Damien Martyn can't buy a run.

Thirdly, Matthew Hayden can't buy a run.

Finally, Glenn McGrath doesn't seem to be all that.

It's all coming together...