Justin Langer neglects a (w)hole category

It's the latest in our new style of posts: Innocuous comments by Australian Test cricketers.

Justin Langer said: "Anyone who suggests there are holes in the Australian cricket team, they are very far from the truth, because what I've seen is a very united Australian cricket team who are very, very, very determined to win back the Ashes."

Justin Langer has forgotten about one kind of hole. This particular something-hole opens the batting with him.

In this picture, Justin Langer is clearly requesting a cup of tea. You can tell by his semi-outstretched pinkie. We smile when we're getting a cup of tea too, Justin. Tea is nice.

Hayden and Langer meet up to prepare for the Ashes

Ha ha ha. Australia's players are old. Ha ha. Much older than England's.

This joke would have made more sense if Matthew Hayden had been wearing a grey wig or something. You get the idea though - Australia's players are old. This is officially our second best post that's about a picture of Matthew Hayden.

We're being deliberately unfunny in an ironic sort of way. No, really.

Justin Langer reminisces about the gold rush with Glenn McGrath

The guy on the left actually doesn't look all that much older than Justin Langer, but he does have a grey beard.

We're too far down this road to stop now.

Justin Langer on Shane Warne

Not literally. That would be hideous. Perhaps we should have said 'Justin Langer talking about Shane Warne'. Whatever. Here's a quote from his BBC column:

Playing with him and watching the poetry of his bowling has been without doubt one of the privileges of my career.

"The poetry of his bowling". Easy there. And we thought it was just Matthew Hayden who Langer had a soft spot for.

Warne would probably prefer a grittier description, you'd have thought.

Justin Langer retires

"Rewards taste so much sweeter when you have tasted the bitter feeling of disappointment" - Justin Langer

We're starting to get really worried about this site. It's descending into a right cliché-fest. A player retires - we trawl around for a fitting quote that in some way summarises their career. Next thing you know we'll be reproducing the inane banalities that spew from players' mouths in the post-match interviews.

Justin Langer's retiring after this Sydney Test along with everyone else. He's always the bridesmaid, Justin Langer. We don't mean that he's overshadowed by others on his retirement day or that he's always been overshadowed by his more newsworthy opening partner, Matthew Hayden. No, we actually mean that Justin Langer's a transvestite with a penchant for embarrassing wedding-wear.

Justin Langer's career record is really very good. It's only pure misfortune that's cast him in a supporting role, although he doubtless doesn't see it that way. Thinking about it, he's right. He's held his own in one of the greatest ever Test sides and played a massive part in their success. How's that unfortunate?

With one or two innings to go, Justin Langer has hit 7,650 runs at 45.26 during 104 Tests including 23 hundreds

We're struggling to think of anyone who seems to be hit by the ball more than Justin Langer (maybe Graham Thorpe). He's massively brave and resilient. He's also one of the most determined cricketers around. Everything we read about him seems to be peppered with examples of his hard-work and single-mindedness in pursuing his dreams.

Mike Hussey's similar. There really is no mystery as to why some of Australia's batsmen are so good. They practice a hell of a lot and they go the extra mile, wherever it may take them. We're fascinated by people who are motivated. It's a bafflingly foreign concept for us.