Five wickets for Murali

It's like someone's hacked out a big lump of our brain. We're thinking about what we're about to write and we're trying to come up with a title but nothing's happening.

We've forgotten how to use our mind. We just don't know how to get it moving. It doesn't come with any instructions or anything, so there's nothing to fall back on. Thinking's supposed to just happen, but what do you do when it doesn't just happen?

We also appear to be suffering from a touch of tunnel vision. If anyone thinks these symptoms add up to something serious can they let us know. We'd like to get comfy in time for rigor mortis to set in.

Now we've forgotten what we were going to write. Something about how Muralitharan's bowling figures against Bangladesh today (5-15) were the kind of figures you could be proud of.

It was something along the lines of: If they were your bowling figures, you could actually tell other people about them, unlike everything else you've ever done, which has been pathetically feeble and embarrassing.

Then we were going to say something about taking the bowling figures out for dinner, but that's when we started getting confused. Then our eyelids went all heavy.

Now we're really lost. This was actually even more confusing to write than it was to experience. Reading it through to check we'd written what we thought we had was more confusing still and re-reading this current sentence is probably going to break us.

Maybe we'll just click publish and hope that everything's okay. Hoping that everything's going to be okay worked for about an hour at some point in 2002 so we're sticking with it.