An unbeatable England one-day team

Unbeatable so long as it stays where it belongs - in the realms of fantasy.

Hope you're all appreciating the blue box. As the most successful thing we've ever achieved in life, we couldn't wait another second before using it again.


We've gone for Michael Vaughan because we said we would yesterday. We've also gone for Flintoff, but we'd like to make this clear: NOT as a pinch-hitter.

The Flintoff who opens the batting in our one-day team has been told not to go for the big shots. He's been told to try and bat through the innings. This might seem like a complete waste of one of England's biggest hitters, but if you get anywhere near 50 overs out of Flintoff, you're well on the way to a big total however he bats. He's incapable of scoring slowly.

It might also mean that he bats properly and doesn't just aim a big slog at his third ball and get out.

Middle order:

Nothing too radical. Bell's not a particularly quick scorer, but he can actually score, so he gets his place ahead of most of his rivals on that count.

It might seem weird having Strauss at five, but that's where he first started his one-day career and he was pretty handy. Plus we've run out of opening slots. Besides any batting position's tantamount to being an opener in an England one-day team.


We actually thought we'd go for Read because we think he deserves a few matches on the run in one form of the game or another. Then we remembered that we'd vaguely championed Matt Prior in a half-arsed way earlier in the year, so we thought we'd better be consistent. It's easier to find good pictures of Matt Prior too.

Don't forget Ian Blackwell. He actually bowled really well in India, going for very few runs. Plus, one day he HAS to manage a quick fifty for England. Having said that, we've gone for Jamie Dalrymple because he's actually made runs already and his bowling's all right. We've also gone for Monty Panesar because he's magic.


Chris Tremlett gets the nod, because he was good against Australia before his injury and because he's a giant and giant's are cool. James Anderson also plays because at least he's played more than eight games, even if he's a bit off at the minute.

Jon Lewis and Liam Plunkett wait in the wings. Sajid Mahmood aims for the wings, but misses by a clear eight feet.


If this or any other England one-day side is half as successful as the blue box, it'll be a grand achievement.

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Wednesday, May 02, 2012

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Blogger Henngirl said...

All hail the blue box. Keep it coming

12:53 pm  
Anonymous Jonny said...

Have you sent the blue box into the ECB? It might help things.

3:01 pm  
Anonymous the scientician. said...

I've got a nasty feeling the blue box is actually australian. Mr Blue and Brown, have you inadvertently created an aussie blue box?
You have havn't you.

4:10 pm  
Anonymous Blue and Brown said...


Never speak ill of the blue box. NEVER!

4:13 pm  
Blogger omar said...

I have nothing left to say about the blue box, so I'll say something about your team, fantasy as it may be.

Strauss should open instead of Flintoff. Flintoff is a not a new ball player. He is pretty awkward against it. Strauss has the capability to score the big hundreds and a good rate too. Why waste Flintoff up the order, when you can get the big sixes from him down at number 5.

Who is Paul Nixon? He seems pretty damn old.

While I am at it...Why is Hoggard ignored for ODI's?

5:00 am  
Anonymous Blue and Brown said...

Damn it. We meant to put something in about Hoggard and forgot.

He's never picked because he's supposedly too predictable. This is despite the fact that his recent improvement in Test cricket is solely down to his variation and 'mixing it up'.

Hoggard should play! He can be the wily 'keeping it tight' guy.

8:46 am  
Anonymous Mahinda said...

On the subject of blue boxes, I learnt just yesterday that Rachel Heyhoe-Flint referred to hers as a "manhole cover".

That's just wrong.

11:42 am  

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