Matthew Hayden shows his true colours - the colours of a bastard

Things we hate about Matthew Hayden:

His face
The way he stands
Everything he ever says
Just as we were convincing ourself that losing the Ashes 5-0 wasn't the worst thing that could ever happen, up steps Matthew Hayden to remind us that actually, it IS just about the worst thing that could ever happen. And then some.

Here's the first bit of what he said, which made us eat an entire duvet through frustration:

"Nothing was going to stand in the way of this Australian side, It has the ability, it has the talent, plus the respect for the game."

Ignoring the fact that 'respect for cricket' isn't a particularly key ingredient for success, the sky-high arrogance is kind of meaningless after the fact. Before the Ashes it would at least make sense. This is just needless. It smacks of, of... of bastardliness.

Here's the second bit of what he said, where he reveals himself as a moron, uncomfortable with his mother tongue. He's describing how winning in India was more satisfying than this Ashes victory:

"The capacity to win in another country under duress of opposition tactics and their entire country was perhaps the best team result that we've had."

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Wednesday, May 02, 2012


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8 Comments:

Anonymous Mahinda said...

You missed one:

"The way he scores runs all the time while looking like your dad's mate from down the pub."

Like the funky blue box, BTW - now THERE's innovative reporting ;o)

11:09 pm  
Anonymous Blue and Brown said...

You don't want to know how long we spent messing with the blue box.

We feel vindicated now.

8:32 am  
Anonymous the scientician said...

BEHOLD! The Blue box hath come to bath us in its azure iridescence.

(is that enough?)

3:41 pm  
Anonymous Blue and Brown said...

That's three separate compliments the blue box has drawn now (one on email).

That makes it officially the most successful thing we've ever done, on King Cricket or elsewhere.

4:09 pm  
Blogger omar said...

aahhh - i was reading your blog on a ghetto linux browser. i was wondering why everyone was making such a fuss about a blue box. cool!

4:51 am  
Anonymous Blue and Brown said...

Anyone else spotted any browser issues with the blue box?

We're too stupid to do anything about it, but we'd like to know just what the blue box's reach and influence are.

8:47 am  
Blogger bwyan said...

Hey, I stumbled upon this blog by accident (the wonders of Google!) and I liked it instantly!! Great stuff!
At first I thought it was because we share the same brand of wit, but when I found all these Hayden articles I realised it was actually because you seem to hate Hayden with almost as much of a passion as I do.

Anyway, on to the reason I appealed...

You missed another reason to hate him.....because he spend so much time making the sign of the cross and telling us about his little talks with his God when, in all that time, God has never seen fit to have a little chat with him telling him that if you nick one, it's the Christian thing to walk and that it's not nice to keep sledging your opponents.
Oh, and did I say he's smug and patronising (even by Australian cricketer standards)

bwyan
Perth, Aust.

7:02 am  
Anonymous King Cricket said...

He picks and chooses. He only likes God when he's on his side.

1:06 pm  

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