Holy Crap: Nathan Bracken

As we all know, Nathan Bracken's rubbish. Like many mediocre, third-reserve seam bowlers, his main skill is being left-handed.

In the good old days, this was enough to render you a pariah, but nowadays in these times of 'tolerance' and 'understanding' you can not only get away with it, but are considered useful. Difference isn't always a good thing. Deep down Nathan Bracken's parents are bitterly disappointed with him and his choice of handedness.

Anyway, he's rubbish, but due to Australia's pitiful pace-bowling reserves, they keep having to give him international caps. Look inside any discarded bottle of Victoria Bitter and you'll find at least eight Australian batsmen of Test standard. Conversely, get below the top three or four pace-bowlers and you're scratching around for anyone at all who doesn't look like Pat Sharp.

Well, as is the tradition with our limited Holy Crap feature, here's the unlikely statistic: Nathan Bracken has taken 89 wickets at 20.12 in one-day international cricket. That's frighteningly good.

So it is that we say:

Holy crap! Nathan Bracken's not rubbish!