England bowlers wanted. Do you have arms? Have you heard of cricket? Apply within.

It wouldn't be the start of an England Test series without desperate scouring for players.

Michael Vaughan's still suffering from dropsy. Ashley Giles has got Crohn's disease. Steve Harmison's got lupus. Simon Jones' artificial limb has got woodworm. James Anderson's really really hungover and won't be fit for at least another month.

There's always a silver lining though. At least there is in our world. In this case it's called Sajid Mahmood, one of our Ones To Watch and one of about a million cricketers who we fanatically champion. He looks set to make his Test debut with Liam Plunkett filling the other pace-bowling vacancy. Plus, if Plunkett plays there's a greater chance that Monty Panesar will play as well. Result.

The knock-on effect is being felt in Rob Key's A team as well as Jon Lewis and Stuart Broad have been called up following Mahmood's withdrawal from that team. Of course all of that pales into insignificance besides Rob Key's latest opportunity to dazzle the world with his unparalleled genius.

The A team v Sri Lanka match starts tomorrow and ROB KEY'S PLAYING. Let's all send him positive vibes... Do it... DO IT... You don't know how..? Just try.