Unleash the masterplan

Okay. It's taken us a while, but we've got it: England are sacrificing this match for the greater good.

It's important to remember that this is a five match series. We've only had two days so far, so there's a long, long way to go. By the end of the series there will be some tired legs. This is England's plan.

Step one, let Australia rack up an enormous amount of runs. Step two, bat for ages, following-on, if need be. Australia have only got four bowlers, so three days in the field will wipe them out. Glenn McGrath can't run in for long. Stuart Clark's in his thirties. Brett Lee will take up the slack and then he'll be cream-crackered. It's all coming together.

The next step is to win the toss in the next Test (we're not totally certain how England will manage this, but rest assured they've got a plan). They'll win the toss and they'll bat, for another three days. Glenn McGrath will be bowling about 40mph by this point. He'll be desperate for an afternoon snooze and a pint of mild.

They're playing right into our hands!

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Wednesday, May 02, 2012

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Anonymous the scientician said...

As a great man once said: "If we hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate."

12:21 pm  
Anonymous Mahinda said...

How to win a toss, in three easy steps:

1. Find Nasser Hussain.

2. Ask him what he'd call.

3. Do the opposite.

4:22 pm  

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