Mark Cosgrove: Batsman, mathematician, scholar

Mark Cosgrove has today described Darren Lehmann's eternal abilities, while being interviewed about South Australia's hopes for the season:

"He somehow always makes 1,000 runs. Even if he seems to have the worst year, you look at his figures and go, 'he actually still got 800 runs'."

What's making us point out that Mark Cosgrove doesn't know that 800 is less than a thousand? It's a fairly innocuous thing - a verbal slip, at most. Would we be reporting this if it were any other player?

It's because he's a little bit fat, isn't it? Any excuse for a post on a fat cricketer.

Mark Cosgrove double hundred

We're going to have to admit to ourself that we've a penchant for fat cricketers. Rob Key, Inzy, Darren Lehmann, Ian Austin - the evidence is really stacking up. Well by that rationale we'd better add Mark Cosgrove to the list.

Mark Cosgrove is nicknamed 'Baby Boof' for his resemblance to his South Australia team mate Darren Lehmann or 'Boof'. We asked our Australian friend why Darren Lehmann was called 'Boof' but he never really gave us a satisfactory answer. Anyway, Baby Boof, Mark Cosgrove, hit 233 not out off 258 balls for Glamorgan against Derbyshire yesterday. Big hundreds are where it's at. We're not sure about his face though.

He's obviously class. Darren Lehmann says he could win Australia a World Cup. The jury's out though because of the face. Although there is the fat factor...

Mark Cosgrove promises to get even larger

To think that we were originally in two minds as to whether to adopt Mark Cosgrove as a King Cricket favourite. He's a fat cricketer - it's the easiest decision imaginable.

Today's great Mark Cosgrove news is that Mark may well get fatter still, potentially challenging Warwick Armstrong for the title of 'fattest ever Test cricketer', assuming Mark can force his way into the Australia side.

Mark's spiritual-guru-cum-role-model, Darren Lehmann, recently indicated that he thought that Mark's fitness (read 'pie-eating') might be holding him back. Fortunately, South Australia coach, Wayne Phillips has claimed that nothing would be done about Cosgrove's weight until "it gets ridiculous."

Hurray. That's a promise. Mark Cosgrove's own coach has given him the green light. There is no impediment to stop Mark Cosgrove's weight getting ridiculous.