'Hot Jesus' is an exclamation we've just invented. It's so powerful and heartfelt that it can only ever apply to a Rob Key hundred and NOTHING ELSE.It's times like this we're glad that we've got a cricket website, so that we can pollute the internet with campaigns to get Rob Key into the England side. Finally this website can revel in its true calling.
Rob Key for England Action Plan:
(1) Invite readers to submit Rob Key songs in the comments of this older post. Suggested key phrases - 'pies', 'deity', 'almost-baby'.
(2) Republish our request for readers to send us a nice picture of Rob Key with a halo; or on a throne; or with a backdrop of fire or something; because we didn't get any entrants last time. To reiterate: We WILL be pleased with whatever you send us. Even if it's shit.
(3) Stand naked in England's Chairman of Selectors, David Graveney's bedroom throughout the night, repeatedly chanting 'pick Rob Key or you'll contract jaundice'. We're not sure why we need to be naked for that, but better safe than sorry.
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I'll volunteer for the David Graveney duty, as I'd planned to do that on Friday night anyway...
ReplyDeleteI might also chuck in a little hint that Matt Prior is a useless twat, and that for a wicketkeeper batsman, it'd be nice if he could do either/or. at present he does neither. Damn him and his old man too early head.
To Graveney's house!
ReplyDeleteHow's this for a start?
ReplyDeleteThere once was a fellow named Key
Who brought poor Durham to their knees
So we bared our thighs
And picked up a few pies
And marched off to David Graveney's
Not that we have any critical faculties when it comes to Rob Key songs, but that's BRILLIANT. It's even relevant.
ReplyDeleteWe meant this older post, by the way. We worded the link badly. Apologies for that.
Oops, missed that. Sorry. Oh well, I guess it's more relevant to this post anyway.
ReplyDeleteI wonder if Rob knows about this site...
We can only hope so.
ReplyDelete