9 - Steve Harmison

What? What’s the problem? Shoaib Akhtar? Are you kidding? Glenn McGrath? No way. When Steve’s on song, he’s like Glenn McGrath only faster and therefore better. Plus he got Michael Kasprowicz out at the end of the BEST TEST EVER and made us emotional even though we are a boy and our only emotions are ‘hate’ and ‘hungry’.

Fast bowlers should be fast. Proper fast. They should hurt people. That’s what fast bowlers do. They don’t care about accuracy except for aiming at people’s faces. Hooray for Steve.

Anyway, he’s English and we don’t pretend to be anything other than outrageously biased. If you really love Steve Harmison, you can sing: ‘Steven. Steven Harmison’, to the tune of ‘Go West’ by the Pet Shop Boys. We do. Even in winter when we're just driving to work and there’s no cricket on anywhere in the world.