Batting average before the captaincy versus batting average while captain. It's every English cricket writer's favourite statistic. See: Mike Atherton, Alec Stewart, Nasser Hussain, Michael Vaughan, Andrew Flintoff and just about anyone else who's ever tossed a coin for this great nation."Oh no, please, this cumbersome captaincy has rendered me overladen", they all cry. "Deciding whether to post a second gully yesterday has led me to spoon my third ball to mid-off again. Oh for those carefree days when I could just hum Eric Clapton tunes while standing at third slip."
Hopefully Paul Collingwood's thumping 80 off 41 balls in the Twenty20 last night is a sign that he'll be different.
I've got this image of The Ginger Wonder and Big Shiv sharing a post-match pint, sitting in the corner slagging off their feckless teammates.
ReplyDeleteMeanwhile, said teammates are playing darts, often missing the board completely.
The image we've got is of 20 players jumping around an adventure playground while Shiv and Colly stand looking-on like dutiful mothers.
ReplyDeleteEventually they tire of talking and say 'time to go home kids' and everyone goes: 'Ohhhhh. Nooooo. Please. Just a little bit longer.'
Shiv and Colly smile at each other and roll their eyes.