Not all of our readers are dyed in the wool cricket fanatics. Some are new to the sport. Bizarrely, some seem to actively dislike it. We're not quite sure what attracts these people to the site.
We've decided to try and aim a segment of the site towards newer cricket fans. We're going to try and explain cricket terminology, so that they know what we're on about. It's going to take a good few months and be a bit basic, but sometimes it's good to start at the start.
What is seam bowling?
What is swing bowling?
What is reverse swing?
What is spin bowling?
What is leg spin?
What is off-spin?
This is probably going to be the single worst decision we ever make, although letting someone trick us into watching an episode of Eastenders that time must come close. Comments have been a bit thin on the ground this week - maybe we can stimulate some by giving you all explicit permission to say how stupid we are for attempting this.
What's a googly? And how come the wicket keeper has two helmets?
ReplyDeleteI would leave more comments but I am being really stupid about how to sign up and so have to keep writing as anonymous which feels smutty. Can you tell how many people read you? Could you set up a laugh monitor?
ReplyDeleteI read your post every day as I love your sense of humour and even more your enthusiasm.
Could you skip quickly through the basics and get to the more complicated and tactical stuff? I would like to be able to argue more knowledgeably with the commentators. Sometimes now I just have to yell or turn them off.
On the radio last week a tour guide round Stratford said that one of her favourite questions from an American tourist when they were driving past a cricket pavilion was
ReplyDelete'Why do you have to keep crickets in such a lovely building?'
You have your work cut for you teaching people about cricket.
Anonymous Person One,
ReplyDeleteIf you select 'other' on the 'choose your identity bit' you can put your name in then. You don't need an account or anything.
Also, commentators are there to be shouted at. You'll find that reasoned debate from yourself only spurs them on, whereas a good lung-emptying yell will at least drown them out.
What I want to know is: was that play really about a man who lost his coat?
ReplyDeleteAlso,
ReplyDeleteDon't listen to Blue and Brown. I've been reading this drivel since it's inception, and it has become obvious to me that they don't know jack shit about safari parks in Somerset that were once Noel Edmunds based theme parks, or Australostoma opacum and their ilk.
Jack. Shit.
At least you blimmin well get comments. My readers are so in awe (or laughing so hard) they never say a word.
ReplyDeleteDavid,
ReplyDeleteOur top tip is to make some sort of glaring factual error. This usually elicits a response.
I can recommend Arm-Ball to Zooter, by that Lawrence Booth chappy from the Grauniad.
ReplyDeleteIt's really rather good.
It'll probably be for the best if no-one makes any direct comparison between our series and Booth's book.
ReplyDeleteNot that we'll be plagiarising him. Our series will be much, much worse.
Dear Anonymous,
ReplyDeleteplease don't flatter Mr. King Cricket. He is NPOW (nasty pice of work)
I met him once, outside Rob Keys house. Mrs Keys came out and asked us to move on, we had been staring for a good three hours. I accepted this request and folded away my chair and took down the tent. King Cricket on the other hand hurled a string of abuse at her and shouted "do you know who I am? Do you know who I am?" about 27 times and then hid in the Keys greenhouse. Of course they could see him, its a glass building, so they called the police. KC left before the police arrived but he parting shot was to urinate on the Keys prize winning sunflowers, holding his manhood in one hand and defiantly giving the house the bird with the other. (whilst Mr and Mrs Key nervously looked on from the back bay window)
Surely urinating on sunflowers would be good for them? Fertilizer and all that.
ReplyDeleteOne of my old geography teachers used to extol the virtues of saving your first-thing-in-the-morning urine and pouring it on to the begonias.
Nice.