Watching New Zealand against South Africa yesterday, we were reminded of a line in the film Grosse Point Blank. Joan Cusack's character, Marcella, describes her high school reunion thus: "It was almost as if everyone had swelled."Don't get us wrong, the South Africans aren't Mark Cosgrove fat or Ian 'Fatty' Austin fat. They're not the good kind of fat. They're paunchy and middle-aged looking.
Mark Boucher's definitely got a bit of middle-aged spread. Andrew Hall should change his surname to 'Ball' he's becoming so pot-bellied and spherical. Jacques Kallis has always been receding, but he's distinctly sturdy looking now as well.
If England's official sports snack is the Jaffa Cake, South Africa's must be rendered pork fat.
The serious side of this is that while Australia fielded only two players under 30 the other day - Michael Clarke, 26 and Shaun Tait, 22 - none of the other nine looked at all flabby. South Africa look soft and not just physically.
A possible reason for our players being off form,perhaps? It is a sad state of affairs when we see professional athletes coming across as professional couch potatoes.
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I think it's partly the South African one day kit - those wide yellow lines are really not at all flattering on the hips.
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