Start new post. Write 'Matthew Hayden' in title box and leave rest until later. Sigh audibly.Do image search for 'Matthew Hayden'. Wince at row upon row of pictures of his stupid, fat face. Select an ambiguous one where Hayden supporters will think he's hitting a six, but more sentient readers will think he's taken one in the head.
Open Australia v West Indies scorecard. Visibly recoil at the horror.
Find Hayden's record over the last few matches. Have to turn head on one side and close one eye to conceal fastest-ever World Cup hundred which DIDN'T HAPPEN. No, it didn't. No, it didn't. No, it didn't. No, it didn't.
Return to title and add embittered ending. Smile outwardly at the unbelievable punishment being dished out to the man. Cry inwardly.
Cry outwardly.
Damn Fat Head strikes again...
ReplyDeleteI am imagining that the photo you used, is actually a Harmison bouncer cracking his face like an egg, that he then cooks, takes pretty photos of , and adds to the Matthew Hayden Cookbook III. Please for the love of WG Grace, let it happen.....
I feel your pain, I hate him too. How could someone as flagrantly untalented as him get this record.
ReplyDeleteNext time I feel like punishing myself I will read his inevitably iditioc post match comments.
I just cant now